


It’s You

by andipew



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi - Freeform, M/M, Oikawa - Freeform, iwaoi - Freeform, iwaoi angst, oiiwa - Freeform, oiiwa angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25562845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andipew/pseuds/andipew
Summary: If you’re here from Tiktok...hello 🥰Oikawa had loved Iwaizumi longer than he could keep track of. He was always by his side, but alas he was only the best friend...soulmates but not the kind Oikawa wanted. When Iwaizumi finds the “love of his life” (as Oikawa likes to call), Tooru finds himself in despair, turning his back to Iwaizumi and leaving.The catch is when they met again, years after he left his best friend.|| I unfortunately don’t own Haikyuu, or Oikawa, or Iwaizumi ||
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/female
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

Falling in love was something many took for granted, however Oikawa Tooru was not many. 

The sky was orange, tainted pink with cotton candy shaped clouds. The few rays of sun left shone upon the two kids, Iwaizumi's green eyes shone brighter as he fuzzed about some new Godzilla movie that had come out. That was the moment Oikawa Tooru knew Iwaizumi Hajime was his soulmate. 

As the two boys grew side by side, so did Oikawa's feelings for the green eyed boy. Sometimes he'd love him so much that his heart hurt. Sometimes he'd fall apart because he knew he never stood a chance. Sometimes he wished he never loved Iwaizumi Hajime, or at least love him as a best friend should. 

It was an evening like the one years ago, when Oikawa's heart took the biggest hit of them all. The euphoria from winning a match drowned the Aoba Johsai team, especially a certain setter-ace duo. 

Today is the day

Iwaizumi's smile was a radiant as ever, just another thing that reminded Oikawa of how much he loved the ace. His heart was beating faster than one of his sets, don't even dare to mention the butterflies going rampant in his stomach and throat. It was as if he was in Junior High all over again, you couldn't tell Oikawa and a hormonal 12 year old apart. 

"Iwa-chan~" his chocolate eyes scanned the well built ace, he really wanted to chicken out, was it too late to chicken out now?

"What is it?" oh god his voice, it made Oikawa want to squeal in joy.

"Let's stop by the new bakery near your house, I hear their milk break is to die for!" Oikawa loved milk bread, everyone knew this, but no one but him knew how much more he loved his best friend.

"Seriously!? We have a chemistry test tomorrow Trashykawa, I really can't fail." He wouldn't fail, he was extremely talented in the science department, yet Iwaizumi always diligently studied prior to a test. Oikawa never understood that, Iwaizumi's need to study despite his innate talent for science...maybe it was the same as Oikawa's need to overwork himself to one-up prodigies like Tobio and Ushijima. 

"Please Iwa-chan! We're almost going to university, let's enjoy this time while we still can!" That caught Iwaizumi off guard, Oikawa had never been one to open up much about that kind of stuff, he, of course, complied with Tooru, he would've anyway.

As the made their way back home from the bakery, Oikawa decided that it was best to get it over with and confess to Iwaizumi. He couldn't tell what was more nervous, his heart or his stomach. He felt as if his heart would jump from his chest and embrace Iwaizumi, but he also felt like collapsing and throwing up everywhere. I mean, this is it right? This is the golden hour? The summit? 

The two boys opened their mouths, words spilled from their lips.

"Iwa-chan I need to tell you something"

"Oikawa I met the most beautiful girl ever...I think I want to marry her" 

What?

"W-what?" Compose yourself Tooru "huh, my Iwa-chan finally got himself a girl?" The dry chuckle that came from the setter's mouth was enough to draw the attention of the love struck ace, however Oikawa was quick to cover his true feeling with a mask of fake happiness. 

"I can't believe you got a girlfriend before me! So mean Iwa-chan" 

"Tooru...you wouldn't imagine how happy she makes me, my stomach flutters when I'm with her." 

He did imagine it however, he imagined it very well. His heart didn't feel like embracing Hajime anymore, it was stuck in his throat. Well he wasn't sure if that was his heart, or bile.

A couple months later the two boys graduated, it was an evening similar to day Oikawa fell in love, and the one Oikawa felt like his world had fallen apart. 

"Hey, promise me you'll stay in touch Tooru! Maybe Yumi and I could set you up and go on double date no?" 

"Of course Hajime, tell Yumi congratulations for me would you?" 

"Okay? Where are you going that you can't tell her yourself?" 

"Well I'm going forward, where else?" 

And so they parted ways. Iwaizumi didn't think much of it, it was Oikawa Tooru, if anything he probably went to sulk that he made it in the same university Ushijima did.

He couldn't have been more wrong. 

Oikawa had been wallowing in self pity and heartbreak for months. He loves...loved? No, loves Iwaizumi. He felt like he was desperately crawling away from a hole, but no matter how hard he tried, he never got any farther away. His heart was shattered, he didn't know what to do. 

He didn't know where to go, he would've gone to Iwaizumi for help, but alas that idea strayed further and further from reality. 

So he walked forward, because there was no place to go put up once you've fallen down.

Goodbye Hajime...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end for some notes :)

It had been years since Iwaizumi Hajime had last heard from his best friend. At first he brushed it off for him being too busy with volleyball, or with some girl. Of course, as time flew by so did the carelessness over Oikawa's lack of appearance in Hajime's life. 

He had everything he ever wanted, a house, a stable job, and an extraordinarily beautiful fiancé. Everything except his best friend. 

Hajime was extremely concerned, he had known Tooru for more years than he could count on his hands, he never expected this kind of disappearing act from the former Seijoh setter. Of course it was only now that he had the time to put thought into where the hell Oikawa Tooru had fled to. Hajime knew to prepare to beat the crap out of the brunette for not keeping in touch. Of course after asking him to be his best man. 

Who's better to be your best man than your childhood best friend...right? 

Hajime hadn't been so passionate about finding someone before, not even when he complained to Tooru about wanting to find love that one evening, not even when he lost his mother at the supermarket when he was little.

Hajime spent day and night trying to find a trace of where Oikawa had gone to, his fiancé pleaded him to stop, for the wedding was soon and the stress wasn't good for his heart.

He adamantly ignored her, if he was going to get married, he was going to do it with Tooru by his side.

It was not until a week before the wedding when Hajime had lost hope in finding Oikawa. He was baffled at how little information he managed to gather on Tooru's whereabouts. He was at least glad that he wasn't dead, he will be once Hajime gets his hands on him. 

He was beyond furious, but he was also exhausted. It was night already, a blanket of stars draped on the dark sky. He needed to rest, maybe if he watched the stars long enough, some alien will come to him with answers. 

He laughed at that thought, Tooru was a firm believer in aliens. 

Hajime walked until he made his way up a pretty little hill just outside the prefecture, he just needed to clear his head, he'll resume his search after the wedding. The wedding that wouldn't be a wedding without his best man. 

As he got to the top of the hill he saw a silhouette of a man. He didn't want to bother the poor man, but the rampant thoughts about Tooru wouldn't let him turn around and go back home. 

It was when he saw the man's face that his stomach turned. 

"Tooru!" 

The man stood up in shock, it was him...it was Oikawa damnit. He spent all those months learning nothing, when all he had to do was climb a hill to find him. 

His voice was fragile, Hajime didn't like that 

"Iwaizumi? How'd you find me?" 

"How I found you?! You leave me for years and you have the courage to ask me how I found you?"

"I left and I made sure no one I knew could trace me down...how the hell did you find me Hajime" 

"You left! I called you! I emailed you! I talked to your parents damnit! No one knew where you were, do you know how worried I was?!" 

"Worried?!? You were worried?!? You break me and you dare to fell worried about me?!" 

"Stop the nonsense Oikawa! I want you to be my best man! I'm getting married for Pete's sake! So tell me what the hell made you run away so we can fix it and go home an-"

"oh god ITS YOU HAJIME! I LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"What the hell?"

"SHUT UP! I LOVED YOU, I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO SEEING YOU SMILE...I want to lay next to you, to hold your hand and kiss you...I left to get over you, but I love you Iwaizumi Hajime..."

Oikawa dropped to his knees, tears falling down his face as he confessed to his first and last true love, as he sobbed waiting for the everlasting rejection. 

"...I loved you so much it hurt, I loved you I began to hate myself for it. I broke and molded myself so you would love me...but I am nothing to you, I will never be anything in your life...at least not the way I want..."

Hajime didn't know what to say, he was shocked. His best friend was sobbing at his feet, his best friend had just confessed his love to him. He stood there, looking at Oikawa's trembling figure. 

He then realized how stupid he had been, how obvious Tooru had been in the past about his feelings, how easily he could've avoided this by saying yes...by telling Tooru he loved him too instead of finding a woman to fill in the gap he never knew Tooru was willing to fill.

He wanted to fix this...to fix Oikawa...was he too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to keep it at two chapters, should I continue the story?


	3. Chapter 3

Oikawa would have never imagined being lucky (or unlucky) enough to see Hajime's green eyes once more. Had this sudden meeting been under different circumstances then Oikawa may have led it slide, the again, he was sobbing at the feet of the man who captured his heart so many years ago. 

Nothing had changed, except maybe for the fact that he had let his feelings spill like water to his crush, who to make matters worse, was very much engaged to his high school sweetheart.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Tooru had planned his whole life as soon as he knew he loved Hajime, or I guess Iwaizumi would be a more proper way to say considering the present fiasco. Tooru had planed to confess to Iwaizumi, marry him after University, and adopt children, to him it was a foolproof plan.

Foolproof until he found out Iwaizumi liked a woman, right then and there Oikawa knew his precious life plan was now nothing but a mere fantasy. 

The man of his dreams was in front of him, standing, not comforting Tooru, not sitting next to him, just standing. At least he's not leaving right?

Tooru felt his heart clench, he had worked so hard to keep a low profile, yet his stupid desire to see the Miyagi stars had tangled him up in Iwaizumi's web again. It was all his fault in the first place, what made him think falling in love with his best friend was a good idea. He wished he could go back to when everything was simple, to the times when it was either stargazing or movies all night, to the time when their teeth fell off and their voice grew deep. 

Tooru soon felt like he couldn't breathe, as if his throat too had had enough of his clownery with Iwaizumi. All he could do was sob and scream as if his heart was being pulled out from his chest, which in truth had felt like so at the time. 

It's You Iwaizumi Hajime...it's you who I love. It's you who I want to spend my life with. It's you who made me like this, yet I would do it again if it meant you'd be happy.

Oikawa hadn't calmed down, his sobs and croaks pierced Iwaizumi's heart, each one reminding him of how oblivious he was to Tooru's love. They both blamed themselves, one wished the feelings had never bloomed, while the other wished he had payed more attention in the past.

Iwaizumi knelt down to be at Tooru's eye level. His puffy eyes make Iwaizumi queasy, Tooru does cry like this, he's strong...right?

"I'm so sorry...Tooru please forgive me" 

"It was all my fault, I should've know I would never be good enough" 

"Don't day that damnit...I'm at fault here...Tooru I loved you for so long, but I thought you wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, which is why I got a girlfriend in the first place to fill the void I thought you didn't want to fill" 

Oikawa couldn't help but cry more, what kind of twisted fate is this, where two soulmates fall in love with each other at the wrong time... what is it they say? Right person, wrong time? 

Oikawa thought he had moved on from Iwaizumi, but as it turns out his feelings were far from gone. He longed for the warmth of the former ace, for his love and affection. But he couldn't pick his broken pieces up, he was heartbroken, he still is, how difficult can it be to get over that? 

Oikawa wanted to get with Iwaizumi now that things have been cleared out, but that type of love and trust may need time to formulate from the barren relationship. 

Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa in for a kiss, you are loved he said, by me and by many others. 

Will you ever forgive me Tooru?


	4. Chapter 4

Hajime didn't know how he was going to fix Tooru. He didn't think when he pulled the man into a kiss, he was definitely not thinking of his fiancé then for sure. It seems like the only thing he's doing is making the situation worse. He, an engaged man getting married in a week, kissed his best friend who had gone missing from his life for years. 

Hajime was going to fix this, he didn't know how, but he was sure as hell that he would give it his best shot. He felt a pang in his chest as he held the sobbing brunette, the old Tooru would've been riled up with a kiss, however it seems Hajime made it worse. 

Am I confusing him? 

Hajime didn't know what to do with Tooru, he wasn't even sure he could even call him by that name anymore. Hajime knew nothing but to show awkward comfort to Tooru. 

"Why didn't you tell me Tooru...I would've said yes" 

Poor choice of words on Hajime's part, as Oikawa Tooru was now, if possible, crying more. All he could do was pat his back. 

"Hey...look at me Tooru" 

Hajime flinched at Tooru's face, his eyes were swollen with tears, he hadn't seen him so broken since he hurt his knee year ago. He wondered how his knee was doing now, but he was quick to let go of that thought, it wasn't the time to fret over a possible career ending injury. 

Tooru finally seemed to calm down, whether it was because of Hajime's warm embrace or the calming night sky I don't know. 

"I was...I was going to tell you after we had won our match against Karasuno, but...I guess I was too late" 

Hajime then realized that it was mostly his own fault for Tooru's distant behavior now. He was at fault for Tooru's sudden personality shift back in Seijoh. Had he waited to tell him about Yumi, maybe then he wouldn't have cause the former setter so much pain, maybe then he wouldn't have the urge to end his relationship with the woman. 

"Tooru...I am so sorry" his voice was barely a whisper, a very rare sight (or sound), even Tooru had never seen Hajime sound so remorseful.

"So...I hear you're getting married huh?" 

"Yes..."

"That's why you wanted to find me? So I can't stand next to you as a friend? Watch you give your life away to some woman?!" 

"She's not some woman Tooru! I've been with her since our third year, it's been years of commitment with her!"

Tooru's dry chuckle bubbled up his throat. Hajime knew he messed up again, he knew better than to bring up the woman who helped him (as indirectly as possible) break his best friend. 

"Is that why you're here? To give me fake comfort? To rub in my face the fact that it won't be me wearing the white suit, that it won't be me waking up next to you every morning, that it won't be me who you'll vow to love for eternity?!" 

Hajime stood up, his hand extended to the former setter, take my hand Tooru, please.

"I'm sorry...I promise I'll fix this. I promise I'll fix you...just give me some time Tooru please!" 

Hajime had never felt the urge to cry so much, but he knew he had to be strong for Tooru. 

"I'll end it with Yumi, I'll call off the marriage and I'll be with you." 

"You can't do that, not for me. I'm not the one you want Iwaizumi" 

Iwaizumi.

Not Hajime, not Iwa-chan. Iwaizumi. That has got to hurt.

"You don't understand Tooru, it has always been you, it will always be you, so please...let me in" 

"How am I supposed to trust you after what you've done to me..."

"Just take my hand Tooru, I won't let you fall again" 

Silence. Not sobbing, not flirting, not bantering or fighting or conversing. Just silence.

"Okay"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this chapter, I don’t think I did a very good job, but I felt like it would add onto pretty well into the whole re-building true between Oikawa and Iwa.

The ocean waves unmoving, the breeze froze, time was still, or so it felt like for Tooru and Hajime. Both men sat in silence in Tooru's living room. Nothing was in between them, yet it seemed as if a wall prevented their ability to talk to each other. It had been years since they last saw one another, Hajime was the last person Tooru imagine he would have in his home. 

Tooru fiddled with his fingers, a new habit he picked up in his years trying to forget Hajime. He couldn't begin to understand how Hajime had found him, he kept his life well under covers once they went different ways. Maybe he didn't try hard enough...or maybe, deep down, Tooru wanted Hajime to find him.

"Are you really going to call it off?"

"What?"

"The wedding Iwaizumi, are you going to call it off...?" 

"Of course" 

Tooru though it was surreal, it couldn't be possible that the man who broke his heart years ago was now breaking off his wedding with a woman who had been by his side since high school. Tooru wanted to forget the past, but he suffered for too long to recuperate in such a short time.

Tooru's silence was frightening, Iwaizumi had never heard him be so quiet in his many years knowing the brunette.

"Tooru..."

"Could you...call me Oikawa for now? I don't feel comfortable when you call me by my given name" 

Tooru felt like he was going to throw up, he had never felt so uncomfortable in his life, so exposed. The man he loved (loves? Definitely loves) had come back. 

"I'm sorry Tooru"

"Oikawa"

"Ah yes sorry...Oikawa"

Tooru felt guilty, he shouldn't have brought Iwaizumi into his mess, he should've stood up and left, let the green eyed man marry the woman he thought he loved. 

"I think...I think you should go Iwaizumi, we can talk tomorrow" or stay, forever? It's not like I've stopped loving you Hajime

"Uh, yeah. I'll drop by tomorrow morning okay? I'll even bring some milk bread from that bakery near my old house.

"Haha yeah ok." 

Iwaizumi left Tooru's house troubled about his current situation, on the other hand, Tooru sat in front of the now closed door wondering how the hell Iwaizumi would fix this. 

Tooru was tired, not just physically tired because of the time, but emotionally tired. He felt tied down, not that he hadn't been feeling like this before. 

Tooru thought about taking a quick shower to freshen his mind, but his eyelids were far too heavy, and his bed look far too comfortable. 

He lost consciousness quite fast, slipping into the dream world where he could control his life, where he could decide the outcomes. 

**

It was an evening like the one years ago, when Oikawa made the biggest decision of his life. The nerves in his stomach were killing him, but in the end he knew it would be worth it.

"Iwa-chan, I need to tell you something" 

"What is it Tooru" 

"I love you" 

"I love you too" 

"Really?!"

"ᴼⁱᵏᵃʷᵃ ᴵ ᵐᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵉᵃᵘᵗⁱᶠᵘˡ ᵍⁱʳˡ ᵉᵛᵉʳ...ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃʳʳʸ ʰᵉʳ" 

"What? Hajime I don't understand!"

"You think I could ever love you? Look at you! Crying on the floor over someone who is clearly way beyond your worth!" 

He didn't understand, Hajime had just said he loved Tooru back, so why was he being like this? 

The green eyed boy crouched down to Tooru, who had somehow fallen to his knees. 

"No one will ever love you Oikawa, you're too selfish, it's only you and Volleyball, you have no love to spare for anyone else"

"That's not true" 

"N̵̨̈́̎̏͘͘ǒ̸̲͕̰̼̫̣̠͜ ̴̨̳̠̀o̷̢͈̜̙̝̙͈̳̅̎̒̀͌̏̀̕ṉ̸̪̤̙̫̓͗̒̇͘ͅȩ̵͍̥͎̪͎͕̱͔́͑͋͒̉̚ͅ ̴͉͖̩͙̘͛̍̋͑l̷̠̓̎̾͆͝ŏ̶͍̦͗̌̃͊̕v̵͓̱̳̲̟͕͋͛̄ẻ̵̜̼͖̠̿̈́̇̈́̈́̃s̷͉̐͊̈͊͐̌ ̶̖̹̗̯̖͎͉̍̊̀͐̔͂̈́͜͝͝y̵͈͙͌͋̕͠o̶͚̝͉͎̹̅̀̃̈̀͊͂̎͜ũ̵̝̎̆̿̈"

"THATS NOT TRUE" 

**

Tooru shot up from his bed, sweat raced down his forehead, it seeped through the clothes he failed to take off before passing out, it marked his sheets and reminded him of the awful dream he just had. His breathing quickened, he hadn't had a dream like that in a long time. He used dreams as a way to escape reality, yet this time his fears found a way to ruin something else he treasured. 

He put his head in his palms, he needed some fresh air.


	6. Chapter 6

Hajime has no idea how he would get himself out of this. First he had to break things of with Yumi, it was idiotic of him to fill in a gap with someone who didn't fit the standard. Yumi deserves better than a man who used her to cope with his crush on Oikawa. 

On the way home, Hajime thought about what Oikawa had said to him, about how he preferred Hajime to refer to him by his surname instead. It broke his heart, but ultimately he knew it was a consequence of his own actions, intentional or not.

Hajime made his way back home, his thought ran rampant for a way to nicely end things with Yumi. At first he thought about lying, telling her that he simply wasn't ready for marriage, but he decided to tell her the truth, because he knows that hiding the truth only leads to problems.

He arrived home to his fiancé sitting on the couch, waiting for him to arrive home. She made her way to the tired man, embracing him.

"Hajime dear, any good news on Tooru?" Yumi had become friends with Oikawa once she started dating Hajime, or at least she thought her and Oikawa were friends. 

"Yumi, we need to talk" 

"What's wrong Hajime"

"I found Oikawa"

"That's good! Why aren't you happy"

"You might want to sit down"

And so Hajime told her everything, from Oikawa's love for him, to his own mistake of hiding his feelings for Oikawa behind Yumi, to Oikawa's closed off behavior when they met a couple hours prior. He broke off the engagement, telling the woman that she deserved someone who truly loved her. 

Hajime slept on the guest bedroom that night, a bag full of clothes packed and ready to be taken with by morning, which just so happened to be the time Hajime would leave for Oikawa's home again. 

Morning came and few words were exchanged between Hajime and his ex fiancé. The drive to Oikawa's was short and awkward, even if he was the only one in the car. He got to the pretty little house he had left last night, now that it was day time he noticed how minimalistic it looked. 

Hajime knocked on the door twice before a tired looking Oikawa opened it.

"Ah, good morning Iwaizumi"

"Morning Tooru" 

"Oikawa"

"Sorry...I'm still not used to that"

"It's okay" 

"I broke it off Oikawa" 

"..."

"So please let me stay with you, let me fix what I broke" 

"Iwaizumi..."

"Please! It's all my fault, I shouldn't have hid my feelings from you...please let me inside your walls, let me help you open up, true me please" 

"You're very bold Iwaizumi, coming here and announcing how you'll fix me. I am not some vase you can glue back together, nor am I some pet you feed to gain it's trust from. I spent years trying to put myself back together, so I hope you won't care waiting, because my trust won't be easy to gain back...."

"I know, but I'll try my best for you, Oikawa"

Oikawa blushed at Hajime's remark. Would he real stay? He hoped so. Hajime thought the same thing, would Oikawa stay or bail out again. 

"Let me cook for you Oikawa, you look like you just woke up" 

And so Hajime began making pancakes for him and Oikawa. It wasn't ideal, but Hajime sought to get there. They ate together and had a few small conversations here and there. Turns out Oikawa had injured his knee further, forcing him to quit playing after University. It amazed Hajime how Oikawa was able to handle himself, since the former setter had a reputation of overworking himself until perfection.

This was progress, conversation was progress, Hajime knew this. He could see Oikawa's cracks as if he truly was a broke vase, but if you squinted enough you could start to see some light through the cracks. 

Hajime may not have gained Oikawa's trust today, but he was sure he would, in the near future, gain so much more than just Oikawa's trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making Oikawa hurt makes me feel ✨sad✨


	7. Chapter 7

Tooru still wasn't supporting the idea of Iwaizumi barging into his life. He still loved him with all his heart, but he was broken, and definitely not ready to trust again. He had gone through so much in so little time, and it was taking all of his willpower to not fall apart again. 

It had been two days since the two had met again, Tooru had opened up a bit thinking it would be best to not be stubborn in regards to the man who literally broke off his engagement for him. Tooru felt guilty sure, but a part of him was happy that Iwaizumi was willing to drop such a commitment for him. 

It was a knock on the door that startled Tooru out of his pensive state. He got up and opened the mahogany door. Iwaizumi was standing on the other side ready to knock again, a brown bag in his left hand.

"I uh, bought some milk bread" 

Tooru didn't know what to say, he hadn't had milk bread since high school, he stopped liking it after not eating it for a while. He wasn't going to tell Iwaizumi that though, or maybe he was? He wasn't sure.

"Oh, thanks Iwaizumi"

"Can I...come in?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah sure" 

Iwaizumi set the bag on the kitchen counter curious as to why Oikawa wasn't shoving the milk bread down his throat.

"Aren't you going to eat some Oikawa?"

"Uh I'm actually not hungry at the moment...sorry" 

Tooru didn't know what to say, 'sorry I haven't had milk bread since I last saw you?' 'Oh milk bread reminds me of all my failures and mistakes so I just don't eat it anymore'.? Yeah no, he was petty, but he wasn't going to send Iwaizumi into guilt-land. Part of him wanted to know how Iwaizumi had been doing, outside of the part that he got engaged of course (not that it really mattered anyway since the engagement wasn't a thing anymore), then again another part of him found no will to talk to the man.

"So Oikawa, what have you been up to?" 

"I work for a small graphic design company outside of Miyagi, I've been there for a while actually"

"Outside of Miyagi? How come you still live close to home?" 

"...how about you Iwaizumi, what have you been doing these past years" 

"...Oikawa" 

"Come on, answer my question"

"Oikawa please..."

"Answer my question Iwaizumi."

"I'm co-owner of a sports therapy center near Aoba Johsai" 

"Congratulations! I always knew you'd do something science related, it was your best subject" 

"Yeah"

"What are you planning to do know"

"What do you mean" 

"You broke off your engagement and I'm guessing you're not living with her anymore. What are you going to do now?"

"I'll try and mend things with you. I realize how big of a mistake it was to not wait, so I want to make things right and have what I missed out on when I said yes to Yumi and not you" 

Tooru was speechless, he really didn't expect Iwaizumi to go this far for him. He had been hurt in the past, he took his time to heal, and he would be lying if he said he was okay now, but seeing how hard Iwaizumi was trying made him want to try along with him too. 

"Okay"

"What?"

"I said okay. We can try to mend this, but I can't promise it'll be easy, nor can I promise I'll be able to open up right away."

"Thank you Oikawa"

Tooru was anxious, he looked at Iwaizumi who had put his head in his hands, in relief? Probably in relief. (Tooru thought it was in distress, but given the situation Iwaizumi would be more distressed had Tooru told him to leave). He was unsure of what exactly he had gotten himself into, yes he still had feelings for Iwaizumi, but was he really worth it? Was Tooru worth all effort Iwaizumi is giving to mend their relationship? (Or course he is, dare I say he is worth way more than even Iwaizumi thinks, but that's just my opinion as the omniscient force in this situation) 

Tooru opened more to Iwaizumi, he even mentioned a couple people he met in the industry, which coincidentally also played volleyball in high school, something about an Akaashi working in the journalism department. 

It was going great, Iwaizumi was hopeful of progress, yet story was still uneasy about the sudden change. He was worried he would get hurt again. 

No matter how hard Iwaizumi tried, Tooru still feared he was digging himself a grave...again.


	8. Chapter 8

It's been a couple of weeks since Hajime met with Oikawa again, and a couple of hours since he let Hajime stay with him. He was worried that Oikawa was taking too much at once, he practically vanished front the face of the earth years ago, nothing is stopping him from doing the same again. 

Hajime was worried, and tired, but mostly worried (sleeping on the couch wasn't doing anything good for his neck and back). Oikawa seemed on edge, as if a ghost would jump out at him every time he turned a corner, or every time he opened a door. It wasn't long ago either that Hajime noticed the lack of sleep Oikawa actually got, it was as if he thought Hajime would beat him up and leave (which he kinda did at first).

The silence the night brought only made it worse. Hajime uncomfortably laid on Oikawa's couch, he couldn't get in a position good for his back and neck, meaning he could not fall asleep to save his life. In these hours of...meditation...Hajime became quite familiar with the color of Oikawa's roof (he could write an entire thesis paper of the soft taupe displayed above him). 

Hajime sat up at the sound of panting, he knew they weren't coming from him, so they must be coming from Oikawa. He made his way down the hall, all the way to the back room, the room Oikawa specifically told Hajime NOT to enter. The panting became mixed with sniffs, yelps, and sobs. Hajime could listen to Oikawa and not go in the room he was told to stay away from.

He didn't listen.

Hajime was shocked at the sight of Oikawa's room, it was truly nothing that came to mind when he thought of his best friend (or at least he liked to think they were still, somehow, best friends). The room wasn't filled with alien posters, or pictures from school, or anything that screamed Tooru Oikawa really. It was minimalistic, very few furniture, the walls a tone of brown, the room incredibly neat. 

It took a couple seconds for Hajime to break out of his trance and spot the former setter kneeling by the side of his bed and sobbing on the mattress. He didn't know what to do, if Oikawa was crying because of him, would it make it better or worse to try and comfort the man...

Hajime made his way to Oikawa, who may or may not have noticed Hajime walk in. 

"Oikawa...can I help you?" 

Hajime reached to Oikawa, he reached to pat his back as the former setter cried.

"...Please don't touch me..." 

His voice was barely a whisper, it broke Hajime, but he knew better than to pressure Oikawa into changing quickly.

"What can I do to make you feel better?" 

"You can...stay here..."

"Is it okay if I sit next to you?" 

Oikawa nodded, Hajime sat down and stayed with Oikawa while he continued breaking down"

"Is me staying here too much? Should I stay someplace else?" 

Oikawa thought for a minute, maybe two, before he sharply inhaled.

"I'm just, um, a bit overwhelmed, but...it should be okay"

"Oikawa are you sure? If me staying here won't help us get to better terms then I'm okay with sleeping someplace else"

"I said it was fine Iwaizumi" 

"Okay, do you, maybe, want to talk about it?"

Hajime felt like he waited ages for a response, maybe him butting in so much is making Oikawa uncomfortable.

"Just for bit..."

"Okay" 

And so Hajime listened to Oikawa. He listened to how Oikawa felt insignificant for years, to how he felt like someone was compressing his chest constantly. To how he lost his confidence trying to fix himself. To how he damaged his knee so much he couldn't walk for months. To how he never loved anyone else, not even himself. Finally to how overwhelmed he felt living with the man he's loved for as long as he could remember. 

Hajime sighed and smiled, Oikawa was opening up to him, weeks ago he would've ignored Iwaizumi or changed the subject. 

"Do you still want to know why I never moved closer to my job?"

"Huh? Oh yeah"

"Well...I felt that if I left here I would've also left a part of me behind...that being you of course. I couldn't bring myself to do that, you were such a huge part of my life, leaving here would have meant I had to leave you. Even if I was working on moving on...I don't think I ever did truly want to"

"Oikawa..."

"Please, call me Tooru" 

Hajime smiled, this was a huge step for Tooru. 

"Of course Tooru!"

"Thank you for trying so hard for me Hajime"

Tooru had opened up a lot more to Hajime that night. He was trying his best to fix himself too, he never stopped loving Hajime, and now that he is certain the green eyed boy won't leave, he'll try his damn best to glue himself back together.


End file.
